Inspiration from the Art of Learning

I'm reaching the end of this health journey, and as my sensory organs and brain is clearing up I am going through a simultaneous period of yuksek salinim oscilations in integration.

I finally have clariy of mind, this morning, ... what I was seeking to understand has clarified for me. this whole health journey has now become, as I had glimpsed it in moments both of darkness and clarity, about getting me to the next part of my journey of becoming to be.

I strongly resonate with the myth of mastery. Honestly, from where I'm at I resonate with seeking mastery more than embodying it.

The type of mastery I seek right now is to rest in the relation of paradoxes. As I expand my capability to the opposite of domains I've been using excessively. That's the meta-cognitive form.

In practice, I want to master the relation between being an unstoppable force and being at rest. I want to rest in the opposing tension of their forms.

force vs yielding
yang vs yielding
control vs letting go & coming back...

Especially to do so through the physical arts (second level learning). Body building, Feldenkrais. and moving on to Tai Chi, and push hands, guided chaos.

I want to master 3, of being me, of wanting to win, of being a competitor, a contender, and executing flawlessless, of impeccibility ... 

but to do so with an eye to mastering sustainability. 

I have certainly had the tendancy to boost performance short term, to take risks where the precautionary principle would be more apt, that is in the long term destructive.

But rather than replacing this tendancy, what I want to have underlying the whole structure is presence, and a cognitive stance of sustainability.

Why sustainability? I don't know cognitively, other than an intuitive understanding of it's necessary for building lasting structures.

Sustainability, for instance, manifests in training in a competitior training as much for recovery as for arousal/performance. 

If I can master the performance of recovery, my performance in action should be that much stronger.

Ne kadar relaxation o kadar arousal... 

Judoka - Shaman's prayer - Dart past the eagle to be free.

Last night - first time in a year I slept in my car.

Away from powerlines - oh my! How great.

I am already given to the power that rules my fate. I cling to nothing, so I have nothing to defend. I have no thoughts, so I will See. I fear nothing, so I will remember myself. Detached and at ease, I will dart past the Eagle To be free. The Shaman’s Prayer is the affirmation of the Spiritual Warrior. It is uttered in times of stress, personal danger, or simply at night before falling asleep. It is a positive statement of Intent, and is designed to generate in a person the Toltec attitude and relationship to life.		Midsummer Alignment
	Like a mantra, uttering the Shaman’s Prayer creates a vibration that will completely alter one’s conventional perception of reality. Each line is a affirmation of one or another facet of a Spiritual Warrior’s life:
I am already given to the power that rules my fate.
	I don’t have to worry about what I need to do in my life, for I am surrendered to Great Spirit. My intent is to become a Spiritual Warrior, the only type of human that possesses qualities to find his freedom. While I am training, I do those things that give me joy, and which polish my spirit until it shines. Who am I to challenge the immense forces that rule my fate? My unique life is the vehicle through which I accept and manifest my destiny. Through my impeccability I will realize my freedom.
I cling to nothing, so I have nothing to defend.
	I am fluid and free, therefore I flow from situation to situation in my life with no resistance, with joy. It does not matter if my life is a challenge or easy, it is all the same to me. My life is an opportunity to be impeccable in all that I do, and I delight in my powerful spontaneity. I am especially aware of the dangers of self-importance and possessiveness, for they can trap my spirit in the blink of an eye. I am nothing, a capricious breeze that plays in a space and then moves on. I do not need to defend myself, for my spirit is free.
I have no thoughts, so I will See.
	One of the stages in the process of becoming free is arriving at that place where one is intuitively at one with the universe. In this state there is no separation: one simply is, and knows. It is called “Seeing” by the Toltec Warriors. This wonderful state of intuitional knowing is attained after years of training to still the Internal Dialogue, the incessant chatter that fills our heads like a rampant cacophony of monkeys. The rule states that one’s intuition (ability to See) improves in proportion to the slowing down of one’s thoughts. When one’s thoughts actually stop, then one “Stops the World”. When the World stops, one experiences reality directly, without the interference of reason, and one is capable of assembling entirely new worlds.
I fear nothing, so I will remember myself.
	In the “normal” world, fear is a distressing state of consciousness that one avoids and escapes from as soon as possible. The shaman healers, however, have a very different relationship with it. They experience the presence of fear as an opportunity to reconnect with their lost power. To them, fear is the feeling that signifies the proximity of one or more lost parts of their luminous bodies which have become lost or separated, usually due to trauma, earlier in their lives. When fear is felt, there is an opportunity to face, accept, and embrace these “lost children” back home. When the objects of our fear are faced, accepted and loved, they transform, dissolve, and merge with the totality of our Self. When my fear dissolves, I will re-member myself: in other words, my “members” will return to me and make me whole once again.
Detached and at ease, I will dart past the Eagle to be free.
	The Toltecs “See” the prime creative force in the universe - what Christians would call “God” - as an immense entity of light. To them its shape suggests an eagle, so they call it “The Eagle”. The Eagle gives us life, and when our time is up, it wants us back. It has given human beings a gift, however, the gift of Freedom. It has challenged all of us to transform ourselves into beings of light. If we are truly renewed and have completely let go of our old selves, it will accept our old selves as sacrifice in lieu of our transformed wholeness. Being “detached and at ease” is the ideal state of the Spiritual Warrior. Having transformed our Selves in the alchemy of perfection, we can give the Eagle back our old selves and accept our Freedom.
	Uttering The Shaman’s Prayer affirms one’s Intent to develop one’s spirit until it shines. It activates the major aspects of the Toltec Spiritual Warrior’s path, and reminds us where we need to focus our energy. It works.