Gathering my thoughts ...

My symptoms are actually all dramatically better ... I'm not sure what to credit exactly, but probably a mixture of ...

going back on abx (especially for Babs)
Tianeptine (it's antiinflamatory effect thru serotonin and reseting of the HPA) - Must remain on Tianeptine to reset HPA
Daily Hydergine use

and way distant to the first three is taking lots of acetylcholine, potentially helping the vagus nerve and parasympathetic system
Sidebar: check this sometime ACh acts on two types of receptors, the muscarinic and nicotinic cholinergic receptors.


and that's about it.

I've been passing a lot of Candida. I've now gotten my diet back under control. No more sweets or shit food. Next strict low fodmap paleo.

I am REALLY excited about the artesunate ivs with the miconazole in them. I think they'll make a big difference.

What's next?

Tongan olympian

   I see this exemplified in the Tongaian competitor, Pita Taufatofua, who participated in the 15K cross-country skiing event. He knew he couldn't win, he hoped only to finish, and he hoped to finish "before they shut the lights off" as he said. Yep, he knew he was that poor in comparison to the field of athletes he would join in this event.
He did finish and he didn't finish last. But, when he crossed the finish line he stayed waiting for the last few who were still coming to cross it, cheering them on and offering them a hug of support and congratulations for having made it as well.
When Taufatofua was asked, "What did you hope to accomplish here?" he replied to have fun and to show all the young athletes out there what was possible, so they could do what they must to be an Olympian as well ... and then to come and do better than he had.
Hold that thought for a moment, to strive on roller skis to learn the movement required to compete in the Olympics, and to fall again and again, knowing you will never win, you may not even finish the event. The for the first time ever, just days before the event, he got to put on real skis and practice for the live event. He said of his finish, "I'd rather finish toward the end of the pack with all of my friends than somewhere in the middle by myself. We fought together, we finish together.”

Depressed lately

Like seriously, biochemically, clinically depressed ...

I think it's the folate deficiency caused by Dapsone, made worse by histamine release from dying candida.

Either way anti babesia medicine works ... So I'm really excited to get the results of those 4 Artesunate ivs (should help cmv and candida too) ...

and get the results of cd 57 too.

Then, get a consult with Dr. Z.

Recentering

What has worked?

Leaving GB and the shed behind.

Hydergine + Centrophenoxine + high dose DMAE -> need acetylcholine also for vagus function.

BEG Spray -> massive discharge.

The last two, probably the BEG spray a lot more, I feel it also has significantly lessened neck tension.

Next steps:
1 month on BEG Spray than follow up Shoemaker labs.
Go on oral abx that Marcons is susceptible to.
Raising VEGF - Oxygenatation and blood flow is big for you.



Tr Meds: Eprex to raise VEGF

Tianeptine & meds journal

<<Scroll down>>

Tianeptine with Niacin Tryptophan and Tyrosine + Huperzine rocked my world today. If it goes like this, I can be symptom free in Green Bank, at least as far as mental brain symptoms are concerned.

Also: Ivermectin had a big effect, as did Wormwood. FL? Some gut pathogen? We'll know soon ... very soon.

When I get contracting symptoms after I eat ( I wonder if this is related to serotonin in peristalsis??) I dont want to do anything ... like now.

So I'll go home... test how I feel there (with whatever is there) and maybe even meditate on the bed. Take some niacin and tryptophan after a while and I may be back....

Tianeptine Day 2 (night) took 1/2 dapsone and lots of tryptophan and 5htp. When I took melatonin all the symptoms went away for a while (is it really Quinolinic acid that accumulates that is causing all those symptoms primarily neurological)

I have also been taking 2.5 mg of Deprenyl (Selegiline) x2/day

And a half tablet of tegretol 4x/day
-
Day 3 wake up better than ever. Even not feeling both radiators being on. That is amazing (for only day 3). I think it's not just the HPA axis regulation, it is the serotonin that is causing peristalsis. I had one large bowel movement almost immediately on waking up and one two hours later. My bowels havent moved like that of their own accord for a while.

Have been dealing with a bit of nausea (6.3/10) today, probably from taking 6 drops of Oregano oil on an empty stomach.

I am noticing that I am not nearly as driven now. This had started before the tinapetine, as the anxiety from whatever was causing my condition and definately in response to the EMFs is not there. There is no anxiety to move away from. I am surely approaching a new phase. I believe this will continue to work. Tyrosine does help get things done.

Also, VIP and BX are dramatically more powerful today, like instinctively 4x (first time I've taken them together on tianeptine).


Took 1 drop of memantine at night. Cleared the brain symptoms, but I was flat and "empty" like nothing to do or want. Which was okay pre sleep but with no motivation would be hard to navigate the day. NO motivation the next day.
 -
(taking ALA 24 hours starting day 3)

Day 4 - Woke up with stiff joints but mostly loose muscles. Had a bowel movement within ~ 45 mins (that helped). The environmental reactions at home are something I need to sort out.

I am also having memories from my past I haven't considered in years come up ... which overall is a good thing.

It is still early in this adjustment with the brain meds. I believe it will settle in two weeks time or so (HPA axis regulation) and slow is smooth and smooth is fast in this realm. That is less is more, when it comes to brain interventions. Got to develop further patience. I want it to happen fast.

The things I have to work out are:

how do I stay productive & emotively in the excitotory in the interim?
-> stop putting things out of mind (like ODM tasks) and see in your mind what it is that will have been accomplished and why you want to do it.


how do I make sure I do the right things for my health?
---
.5 - 2 hours before a bowel movement I get an adrenal crash. First shakiness, then brain fog, then adrenaline shoots up and mobilizes glucose and cortisol, then I get hunger, I eventually give in and eat (sometimes shit food - not a good idea), and then relief after a bowel movement.


Had bad adrenal crash before bowel movement on Day 4, depressed too a bit.

Took phenibut and after a 4 hour nap in the evening went to clover. A bit off, "age regressed" played with fox pelush toy. Childliish behavior

Took 1/2 dapsone pre sleep
----
Woke up with the most relaxed musculuture ever!

Malarone & Ivermectin clear symptoms => Babs, FL?

Also supposedly beta blockers help clear Babs from RBC.

---
Lioresal - good for carnial neuralgia
Gabapentin - good for clonus + peristalsis.
 Slept like a baby and woke up good.

but 1 lioresal + 300 mg of gabapentin the next morning  and No motivation whatsoever. Even though I felt good it was flat and was difficult to leave house. Lots of Tyrosine and DLPhenylalanine and Folate later. Dopamine surge, some Eminem music, eye of the tiger and off I go. (Glutamate modulates Dopamine - drive and joy)

Had major ammonia toxicity after meal ( 4 eggs Turkey + salad). Counters: Glutamine, Ornithine, Molybdenum, and Bismuth.

Reduce dosage of gabapentin to 100. Reduce tianeptine dosage.

<Tianeptine also modulates glutamate>

Remember: Tianeptine helps heal HPA Axis

Tianeptine prevents and reverses stress-induced glucocorticoid-mediated dendritic remodeling in CA3 pyramidal neurons in the hippocampus (40,41) and stress-induced increases in dendritic length and branching in the amygdala (50). Tianeptine blocks the dendritic remodeling caused by stress or glucocorticoids (41), blocks stress-induced impairments of spatial memory performance in radial and Y-maze (70,71) and antagonizes the deleterious effects of alcohol (72).

An increasing number of studies suggest that it is the ability to modify synaptic plasticity that is the crucial feature of clinically effective antidepressants, rather than the enhancement of neuronal survival alone

Eclipse Jan 2018 - Ic referans - Coming home to Me

Becoming personally involved in your own life.
Taking pride in your appearance. 
Engaging life with warmth and vitality. 
Developing self-dignity. 
 Developing self-concern.
Becoming aware of the need to express who you are in an upfront and obvious way.
Making more room for play in your life.
Putting a little showmanship into everything you do.
Announcing your arrival.
Letting people hear you roar. 
Bringing more fun to everything you do.
Laughing more. 
Learning the art of getting noticed. 
 Taking it personally. 

Being uncompromising in your personal vision of how you want to live your life. 

Amusing yourself.

Reserving the right to throw a royal fit when you’ve been insulted. 
Getting in touch with your inner queen or king. 
Allying yourself with people who have a cool head, yet remaining warm and personal yourself. Becoming more creative in everything you do.
Bringing a personal touch to everything you do. Personalizing every experience. Monogramming your clothes.
Enjoying being the center of attention. Becoming comfortable when all eyes are on you.
Basking in your own glow.
Developing a radiant presence.  Being unafraid to shine.
Resisting the urge to deflect attention from yourself.
Leading a grand, dramatic, romantic life.
Releasing the need for controversial relationships.
No longer dependent on group approval. 
 Acknowledging other people’s uniqueness yet embracing your need to shine.
Feeling special.
Following your heart.
Bossing people around when you need to. 
 Not letting other people cramp your style.
Letting go of cold, strange relationships that hold you back.

Tamer dedi ki, iceri baskalarini cok alirsan - dis referansa kayar. Icerde sana yer kalmaz,

Kendin nerde hayat nerde?

Aile, sevdiklerin nerde? Tanidiklar nerde? Digerleri nerde?

ve durumsal olarak bunlarin hareket etmesine ne kadar izin veriyorsun.

Nisanyan hapisten uctu

Ne demis?


Eylem yapacaksan asla akıllı adamların aklına kulak asma. Eylem için deli olmak lazım. Başını sonunu fazla düşünmemek lazım.